This cousin of my collegue was not some great looking chick or anything. She was just a common girl. She use to dress properly and was pretty simple. I once asked my collegue what is her name and what does she do? I was told PARO was her name and she was working as operator in Dean's office. She was also pursuing M.Com. and supporting her family. She was a quiet girl compared to her friends with whom I use to have tea/coffee once in a while. It had been 2 years I have been working here and I just had few friends for namesake to give company. One of them was Sanjay W. He was nice guy and was going stead with another operator.
He use to tell me stories about his "encounters" with this girl. They were deeply in love but they never planned on how to share the information with their family and thus get married.
Paro was offered part time operator work in our unit and she readily accepted it. It was like 3 hours after hours. She had to make extra money that she could for her family. If she had to work late then she use to stay at her uncle's place which was about 10 minutes walk from our office. She was not the only one, there were 3 more operators assigned to the task. The activities were time critical and had to be completed in stipulated time. Other friends use to love close by but Paro had to walk her way home. It was not unsafe but the office-in-charge requested me to take care of dropping her to her uncle's place every night when the work was done.
I use to go out for dinner around that time so I agreed for the same. I use to walk Paro home almost every night for nearly 3 months. During walking we use to chit-chat and talk about each others' personal life. Her uncle also liked me and asked me couple of times what I have been doing and about my family. My collegue, who was Paro's cousine, also gave nice feedback about to me to her father. I guess this was becuase I never use to talk much with females and always use to mind my own business. I also never particiapated in vulgur discussions. Slightest hint of discussion drafting towards vulagarity and I use to leave the place. Any intimate discussion use to remind me of Anu. I had one photograph of Anu that I had kept in my work room. I use to look at it, cry and keep listening to ghazals.
Working together, for a while, I had a chance to know each of those girls. One was engaged, one was flirting (seriously??) with my friend and that left Paro. Paro never got involved with anyone. I guess becuase she had a big responsiblity on her shoudlers. Her father was paralyzed after retirement. His pension was peanuts and they had to leave government quarters. Life had been difficult for her too.
As I understood similarities in our lives, I kind of started liking Paro. The day I won't see her, I use to feel uneasy. When I use to spend time with her, I felt really good. Smile returned on my face that was more noticable.
I was practically living in office most of the time. My responsibilities were huge compared to my age. But as I have mentioned before, I had matured very early in my life and I was proactive. That had earned me a very respectable position. HOD and Deans use to recognize me out of thousands of staff. That apart, I mostly use to eat outside or in mess.
Paro really use to feel for me as I was living a lonely life. Last few days, in December-January of (93-94) I started feeling a streak of light in her eyes for me. I have been observing her for a while now and really started liking her. In January, she went home for a festival and brought me home made sweets. She brought a big box and I finished everything. We grew closer a little more. There came valentine's day of 1994. My mind was racing. My heart wanted to propose her and my mind was running against it due to my past experiences. My heart won, it managed to tell my mind and agree on certain things related to the relationship.
I will propose her anyways. If she accepts it is good else I will never ever propose any female in my life and will get married to whoever my parents asks me to get married.
Around 7pm, she got ready to go home and I asked her if she is leaving for the day? She said, if you want, I can come back after dinner but I will have to pick her up and drop her back. I agreed.
Around 8pm I went out for dinner and picked her up. During my dinner break, I purchased a valentine card and a Cadbury dairy milk chocolate. We walked aimlessly for about 30 minutes. Then I gathered my wits and spoke to her about my feelings towards her. I told her that I love hear and I had special feelings for her. I also told her that she can answer whatever she felt. Paro started crying. I wondered what did I do to make her cry. Never knew before that how girls will react to proposal. I spent sometime consoling her and told her, there is no pressure to answer immediately. I also did not want the things to lay hanging in air so we agreed on a 3 day time frame. She asked me what will be the consequences if she said yes and if she said no to my proposal. I told her the deal was plain and simple, if she accepts my proposal, I will be very happy, I will stand by her whenever she needs me. If she rejected my proposal, I never talk to her ever again. No friendship no nothing. She took my card, cadbury and I bought her an ice-cream as parting gift.
We did not talk to each other for next 3 days. I did not want to influence her decision making process. I needed an honest answer. My failure in love probably had made me more pragmatic.
After three days, came big day. The day of judgement for me. I saw her dressed up all in yellow dress. She was looking cute. Her face looked a little tensed. I was tensed too. My heart was racing and thinking what am I going to do if she rejects me. I kept praying god, before she turns me down, I should be dead.
Whole day passed and I did not hear back from her. It was almost time to go home for her and I was waiting and all of a sudden I get this message, "meet me near Kanjurmarg station".
I dropped all that I had on my hand started moving out of office. She was going by bus and I was running all the way down almost 2kms.
As I reached, she was waiting for me. We started walking toward Mulund station. She said she accepts my proposal and I was so excited. She took a promise to not let anyone know that we were serious about our love and wanted to take our relationship to next level. This is to make sure no one interrupts this relation until she appears for her exams. Even after accepting my proposal, she did not look very happy. I kept thinking what was going through her mind? Why she is not happy? Is she responding to me under pressure? We separated that evening. Next day I sent her a message that I wanted to meet her alone far from where no one is around and I can talk to her for at least 2 to 3 hours. She had to find an excuse to be away from home for so long.
The day came almost after 4-5 weeks. She agreed to meet me on Gorai beach. I said, I will pick her up near my home and we went to beach to talk to each other.
This was the time I shared my past love life with her. She asked few things about my relationship and I share everything (except the part I have never mentioned to anyone). She said, she thought I was still serious with Anu as I had her photo on my desk. I explained to Paro that it was my way of getting strength to carry one after my heart break. What if she did not love me anymore, she can't me stop loving her. But now that you are in my life, I will not think about her. If she would have given her photo, I would have stuck it on my desk that moment, but I was bounded by promise.
At this moment, she also shared her past with me. She use to love a guy next door couple of years ago. He helped her family a lot when they moved in that new place and when she was not well (suffering from typhoid). We promised that we will sweep our past aside and start afresh.
Later she came to know that the guy was married and his family was living far away. He had come to Bombay to earn money. How ironic, we all travel thousands of miles away from home to earn money and fame and everything. What happens to our family, family members? How do they grow up? Do they loose sensitivity towards us? Do they get used to live without us? Even today sometime I wonder if she ever get up close and personal with him?
That was the beginning of our relationship. We were discrete as much as possible. I did not want to have any interruptions in her studies. We kept meeting out of our work place. She use to take bus up to Kanjurmarg and I use to ride a bicycle or go running all the way for 2 kms. Then we use to walk for miles up to Mulund. Once she boarded her home bound suburban train, I would take bus back to my work place and start working. My nights were long and days were tiring. She appeared for the exam and I started getting impatient.
to be continued....
